Ungrateful girl whom I called a good friend. She was extremely upset and at the edge of loosing her interest in life. She said it for the millionth time "Why all bad things happen only to me, Why God hates me so much."
I knew it was completely her fault, and she never learnt from her past mistakes. Until things turned out to be worst, she would keep piling them. After listening to everything she had to say, I tried to tell her that Everyone has problems of their own, life is all about it. I just wanted her to know that she is not alone, so I told her about some brutal problems I faced and how I came out from similar situations.
While making an attempt to strengthen her broken soul, I poured my heart out. Little did I know once her crocodile tears dried, she would go around telling everyone about my family issues and would mock at me for pretending to be strong.
I can easily forgive anyone for the mistakes they make and easily become friends with my own worst enemy. Even the girl whom I wrote above was forgiven and I was back to treating her as the same old good friend. They rightly say History repeats itself, so did she.
But what I cant do is forgive myself when I make any mistakes. The moment I realize what I did was wrong, I start cursing my actions. I over analyze the whole issue and think if I would have acted otherwise I could have saved the situation from getting ugly. Sometimes I brood over it for days and days. Its weird that the same me can forgive everyone else but not myself !
P.S: I am taking part in Mrs.INDIA Washington, USA.
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I totally get it, the one thing that is hard for me to do is to forgive myself, however small the mistake is. Even I tend to trust others and give third chances despite the whatever they may have done. I sped a lot of time cursing myself for doing that.
ReplyDeleteWe tend to be a little hard on ourselves when it comes to forgiving our own self. In fact it should be rather easy to do it for yourself...since you are your best friend...aren't you?
ReplyDeleteI understand this... We indeed tend to punish ourselves while forgiving the rest of the world. Somethings make me so guilty that I lose sleep. But talking helps me out. Luckily I got a sister and best friend to whom I can rant out everything.
ReplyDeleteBe easy on yourself :)
Forgiving our selves is tough but it always helps.
ReplyDeleteU shud get rid of such "FRIENDS" asap
Good luck
Forgiving oneself comes after a lot of the original guilt and self-condemnation washes away. My advice: don't brood on it. Let it happen at its own pace. Also, don't dwell on the pain. Use it as a stepping stone to better things.
ReplyDelete~Shailaja's latest A~Z post
~Shailaja's Guest post
I tried to mix with these kind of people, my experience is
ReplyDelete1. People like these like friends, people who say all yes to them but do not counteract or argue against.
2. Once you become friend then keep solid examples ready with you. Pretend to be sad and when asked for spill out the entire bean of someone's series of tragedies worse than her's but no suggestion how to come out with that.
3. Within next 24-48 hrs she shall ask how the troubled one is. Tell her about further invasion of another bad luck.
4. Next day tell a little that she herself identified a fault and rectified. There is no other invasion.
5. Tell her the person suffering from problem has got a new offer
6. The offer is working
7. Now she will verify and if satisfied she would ask at first tell her faults
8. You do not help but say you may require time
9. Now she would find out on her own and start rectifying. Good results may come.
Forgiving oneself is the hardest thing to do. We are always hardest on ourselves. But drop that friend real fast.
ReplyDeleteTo forgive someone is a virtue, but forging yourself is an issue. It is hard when it comes to us.
ReplyDeleteSuch friends should be kept at an arm;s distance or if possible even more :) Forgiving yourself is must because you must know whatever happens you cannot change. Its fate. But learn from your mistakes. Never trust such friends again who will change colors and when you are down show their ugly face.
ReplyDeleteforgiving oneself is hardest thing to do !
ReplyDeleteWe are our worst critics, forgiving others is easy. Great post.
ReplyDeleteYou know forgive and forget never comes to me easily...And that includes forgiving my ownself .. I admire those that can...
ReplyDeleteU for Uncanny-Random Thoughts Naba
Forgiving yourself is very difficult. I don't know why we're always harder on ourselves than we are on other people.
ReplyDeleteForgiving oneself is indeed tough Yet ,you must.We all are human & hence prone to mistakes.
ReplyDeleteCan understand how u feel. I feel the same way for the triflest things I do, wishing i had said something else or acted differently.
ReplyDeleteIt means that you are a good soul! You try to chisel yourself into 'the best' , instead of preaching others... Well, people will learn from that :)
ReplyDeleteIts a shame the way she acted and you had good intentions in sharing your life with her. I find it difficult to forgive people. Again, I am glad you came with the post and admire your courage, Ananya:)
ReplyDeleteForgiving oneself is not easy, but it must be done. Guilt can be killing.
ReplyDeleteWhen one realizes that one has made a major mistake, one must try to take corrective action as far as practically possible, learn from the mistake, and forgive oneself. With practice, it will become less difficult.
With others, it is necessary to be forgiving, but it's even more necessary NOT to be too forgiving.
I stopped by from the A to Z challenge and like your topic. It sounds like it was the other person's fault not yours. You were just trying your best to help. I am a Virgo, so I understand all too well about being self critical. In this case I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. You don't deserve it.
ReplyDeleteNo point being so hard on your self . Just forgive your self and forget the bad,
ReplyDeleteRelease the past, for that is what it is. Embrace today, for it is all we have. Don't worry about tomorrow. If we live in the moment of today, tomorrow will never come.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear she betrayed your trust like that. Hope you find a way to forgive yourself, because it wasn't your fault she was horrible about the situation.
ReplyDeleteOh wow! I get this. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI think it's good that you forgave your friend, holding grudges doesn't help after all, but I hope you're careful when it's about letting her back into your life again. I doubt she deserves it.
ReplyDeleteBut you, you definitely deserve your own forgiveness. We're all just humans after all, never perfect.
I understand that - I'm pretty hard on myself as well. But I think it's important that we learn to treat ourselves with kindness and forgiveness, the same way we treat others. Not always easy, but important. :)
ReplyDeleteWow, you are strong. I'm evil.. I can forget, but never ever forgive. I try to learn my lessons though, but I know what you are saying. It is tough to forgive oneself.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand how you feel! I have the same heart within me which is always willing to forgive others but myself. And for a change and due to life throwing a new challenge at me, I am trying to be strong this time so I can accept that sometimes forgiving others and ourselves is necessary yet we don't have to continue together in life as if nothing happened. The most interesting accusation I heard from someone is that I forgive everyone but him! As if forgiving everyone has become my trait which allows people to think they can get away with anything they have done to me. Thanks a lot for sharing your life with us :-) http://threesamosas.blogspot.fr/2014/04/tequila.html
ReplyDeleteIt's weird isn't it how we can forgive others but not ourselves. But by being harsh with ourselves, we continue to live in distress. What that girl did was awful but I believe in karma and she will get her just desserts...
ReplyDeleteBe more forgiving to you self. You will be at peace and grow as a pe r son. None of us are perfect. Excellent posts.
ReplyDeleteT as well as this one. My mom too has thyroid but it can be managed.
All the best.
Health and happiness always.
In time I hope you find peace and be able to forgive yourself. Not forgiving yourself will only give you burden. Always remember, whatever happened cannot be undone. In time, may you be healed.
ReplyDeleteYou are very kind to forgive her...she doesn't really sound like she deserves you.
ReplyDeleteThe best piece of advice I've had on this subject: Don't look back at what's happened. Look forward to what's to come.
ReplyDeleteDifficult to implement but it's worth a try. :)
Catching up on your posts!
Thank you all for spending your time reading this post and sharing your thoughts !
ReplyDelete