GRANDPARENTS
My mother came to stay with her parents during her 4th month of pregnancy and she never went back.
My parents got divorced legally after few years. So I was raised at my mom's parent's place. Everything about their separation is a huge story which I may not or may be able to share later.
Yesterday I was thinking of a word beginning from 'G', I remembered my late Grandmother( my mom's mother). Cant remember much about my grandfather as he passed away when I was little.
For the first time in my entire life, I realized am thinking only about my maternal side what about my paternal grandparents.
I don't have a slightest clue about my fathers parent's, what they did, where they lived , how they looked because I never seen them in real nor in pictures. They never met me, I have never spoke to them, I just don't know a thing about them. I wanted to ask my mother about them, but as usual I choose not too. For reasons best known to me !
P.S: I am SORRY if I sound rude. But I just wrote these lines with the exact thought expressed, it was just a question in my mind which lasted for few minutes, never arised before nor will later.
BUT I don't feel hurt about not knowing them, I am not upset nor the thought that they never tried to meet me saddens me. It's something I have accepted in my childhood days, so no void, no feelings attached. I thank you all for reading my life, showering your love and concern for me :) I cannot tell you what it means to me !
P.S: I am SORRY if I sound rude. But I just wrote these lines with the exact thought expressed, it was just a question in my mind which lasted for few minutes, never arised before nor will later.
BUT I don't feel hurt about not knowing them, I am not upset nor the thought that they never tried to meet me saddens me. It's something I have accepted in my childhood days, so no void, no feelings attached. I thank you all for reading my life, showering your love and concern for me :) I cannot tell you what it means to me !
Sometimes not knowing is a good way to cope. I'm enjoying learning about you...
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's better to let go few things and not knowing about them ....
ReplyDeleteAnanya, I can feel for you. Sorry to rub some salt here, but they may be missing you as well. You know better, but its never too late to know your other family, dad, and their kin. :) hugs to you dear!!
ReplyDeleteYou probably know that it's painful for her and I appreciate that you don't want to bring it up!
ReplyDeleteThis is a tough one -- I trust you will make the right decision as it sounds as if it is important to you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing. It's not easy. I go with Carol on this.
ReplyDeleteThanks ! for sharing your expressions. Life teaches a lot of lessons.
ReplyDeleteI respect you for your decisions Ananya. Sometimes, the door opens by itself.
ReplyDeletethats true... grandmother plays an important part in our life .. so good to read that
ReplyDeleteI believe, follow your heart! Hugs ♥
ReplyDeleteAnanya, I've travelled in a similar boat so I know the pain. Love n hugs.
ReplyDeleteIt must have been tough for your mom.If there had been no endeavour from your dad's side to see you,it is good to leave it at that.Even when parents are not divorced,I have found children gravitate more to mom's relatives than dad's.I don't know why.
ReplyDeleteAgree with PB, sometimes not knowing is the best thing.
ReplyDeleteShalzzz|Loving Life
Check out my latest at TaleofTwoTomatoes
Having gained all this life-taught wisdom you will know in due time what you want to do....go with that inner direction...sending you love and good wishes.
ReplyDeleteLife is full of pain why add them. on the other hand, you can not avoid thinking about your grandparents or Father whatever they did. I share your tears, pains and I pray that let the unbearable pain not bother you any more or let it be lessened.
ReplyDeleteAnanya, we are so similar in certain aspects and even I am vague about my paternal grandparents, as of maternal I have very faint memories!!
ReplyDelete~S(t)ri
Participant|AtoZ Challenge 2014
Smile, it makes (y)our day!
Really respect and admire you the way you are sharing your personal battles with us. Lots of love and best wishes.
ReplyDeleteYou are indeed a braveheart and I wish you the very best.
ReplyDeleteI've been hearing a lot about you and your posts. All good of course. So was curious, and I wasn't disappointed at all. Kudos to you for opening up your world, that too your personal one and sharing them with us. I look forward to reading you regularly :)
ReplyDeleteI cannot even empathize with u but I can definitely say - Ur mom must be proud of u
ReplyDeleteHats off to your courage, Ananya !
ReplyDeleteI think all that this post tells me is that your mom is a strong woman, one I would love to be like... And I love how candid you are and you know what that shows great character..!
ReplyDeleteRandom Thoughts Naba
Just go on with life.Later ,you may bump into someone from your father's side & learn about paternal grandparents.As someone has rightly said ,some things are better kept away.
ReplyDeleteI have never known my grandparents, either from my father's side or mother's side. All of them died even before I was born. So I would say you are lucky at least you knew one of your grand parents. See it's all about perspective :)
ReplyDeletePerhaps in the future you might, when you are ready. My cousins went to meet their father, from whom their mother seperated while they were quite young, after they became parents themselves
ReplyDeleteI agree with you , if they really wanted to meet you they could have made an effort to meet you.
ReplyDeleteYour inner strength shines through.
I'm sorry to hear that you don't know your paternal side of the family. I hope they think of you with longing and affection.
ReplyDeletehopped in from the A-Z challenge.....and what i found was a heartfelt post.... Ananya, life is like a giant jigsaw puzzle, and we really don't know how the pieces fit into our lives and when we will find the right piece....but we will get what we are destined to get, how, when and where, leave it to the Master....
ReplyDeleteWhen people choose not to talk about their personal lives, you have chosen a different path to be open...You are a courageous lady.. Is your mom also reading these ?
ReplyDeleteAnanya grandparent's love is always very cute...Love your strength girl!
ReplyDeletesomethings are better not known! though i know and stay with my paternal grandparents, its nt a grt experience! may b some day i wil gather enuf courage like u to share about it n let go of the emotional baggage
ReplyDeleteI'm also a product of a broken family and I've had questions. I started asking them but it stirred up too much drama so I dropped it.
ReplyDeleteSometimes its good to let go the untouched past!
ReplyDeleteI think it is only better that you don't know. There must be a reason why you don't. I know not knowing hurts, I also have many unanswered questions in my life but like you I have also accepted few things in life. Somethings are just not meant to be. Sometimes I wish it could all be perfect :)
ReplyDeleteYou are better off not asking questions that will end up hurting you. It's good that you've made peace with them.
ReplyDeleteThe 2 AM Writer
few things are better left unasked and unheard !
ReplyDeleteThank you for being so open and willing to share your thoughts - I am enjoying getting to know you a little bit. :)
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are giving your mom the space by not asking anything about your grandparents... btw grandparents are the relationship I have no clue about, before my birth, my Nana, Nani, Dada, Dadi passed away... I have no idea how i feels to be a grandson...
ReplyDeleteAmritt
*how it feels
DeleteThis just proves more how sensible and brave you have grown into. :)
ReplyDeleteI may not be right if I say I understand what you mean of feel. I would just like say that sometimes its better to have not known someone if they were never going to be alongside you. Knowing them may would have given an opening for expectations or may be not, but still the void would have come to the fore and would have made it more difficult for you to accept the facts and move on.
ReplyDeleteYou have also shown a very mature approach by not asking your mom the difficult questions and let her be in her space. more power to you girl, god bless you :)
This is touching....U dnt need 2 clarify anything.....life goes on & we mst strive every moment 2 achieve success..so those who may b in heaven, who r on earth & kno or dont know U will also FOR SURE know U! :)
ReplyDeleteLet the packet remain closed ...everything in our lives is preset, u need not to go for extra mile, it'll come if it has to.
ReplyDelete...shababkhan
There are things best left unknown and unexplored. Coming to my Grandparents I never had much feeling for them, I never felt any real love towards them. That's I guess because I was born Numb to emotions to a wide set of people.
ReplyDeleteI agree not knowing is the best thing!
ReplyDeleteThe simplicity in your thoughts is touching.
In your case, I guess it's good that you are unattached.
ReplyDeleteI respect your thoughts and how you feel. But what if someday you meet them?
ReplyDeleteIt has not happened in past so many many years ! Not sure there is an possibility now !
DeleteBut I wont try to meet them, if it happens I don't know whats my reaction !
The thought was conveyed perfectly.
ReplyDeleteIsn't that thought still bothering you?
Maybe it was for your own good. Who knows whether they accepted you with open arms or perhaps disdain?
ReplyDeleteRicha